More neologisms equals more smiles!
Another competition run by the Washington Post asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition. These are absolutely my favorites:
Intaxication — Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Foreploy — Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Inoculatte — To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis — Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis — A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon — It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
Glibido — All talk and no action.
Ignoranus — A person who’s both stupid and an asshole
Arachnoleptic fit — The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Cashtration — The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor — The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
Willy-nilly — impotent
Disconfect — To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.
Elbonics — The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Peppier — The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
Phonesia — The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
I’m not sure where the following originated, but they’re just as good:
Accordionated — Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time
Earworm — A catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head
Nonversation — A pointless chat
Onionate — To overwhelm with post-dining breath
Vidiot — Someone who is inept at the act of programming video recording equipment
Wibble — Trembling of the lower lip just shy of actually crying
Whinese — language spoken by children on lengthy trips
Wurfing — Surfing the Internet at work
Magnifecal — a fantastic pile of crap
When I sent these lists to my friend, Joe, a year or two ago, he got right into the spirit of the thing. Here are two that he came up with:
Beditation — that period of time between waking up and getting out of bed where you just lie there and think
Ponis — the kind of pony tail that men wear
Can you think up some of your own?